Do you ever sit down and think about your life in awe? Like how did I not die that time I did a 360 in the middle of the highway.. how did I get the best husband, friends & family that put up with my bullshit.. how did I ever manage to make it through physician assistant school without loosing my mind.. how did I manage to pull the string and open my parachute when I jumped out of an airplane..

Mostly, how am I already 30 years old? I’m pretty sure it was only last week my American girl doll and I were rocking matching nightgowns.. speaking of, is it socially acceptable to still play with a doll at 30 because I may or may not have been contemplating breaking it out of my Mom’s attic recently?

It’s crazy to me that I’m 30 years old. Sorry, not sorry if you’re 50 and think I’m being ridiculous because this age thing is all relative. I remember when I turned 16 and thought I knew everything about everything, my parents knew nothing and I was invincible. It feels like a lifetime ago.. well, after all, it was half of my lifetime ago.

And then I turned 21 and comically thought, with certainty, that I had my life figured out. If you asked me, I knew exactly what I wanted.. in a relationship, at work, with friends and family. Holy f*ck, I was ignorant. Like so stupid. The stupidest. But, because I was sure to make all the wrong decisions at 21, I learned rather quickly what I DIDN’T want in life.. and that was more helpful than I could have imagined.

Now, these days, I’m 30 (sweet Jesus) and I actually think I’ve learned a thing or two about life.. my life.. and how I’m choosing to live it. I mean, some days I’m still not too sure.. some days I’m hanging on with a grip that feels like the last round of DT (for you non-CrossFit people, a workout that breaks your forearms).. some days I’m crushing it.. and some days are just mediocre. And when I look back at this post 20 years from now I’ll probably laugh at how wrong (yet again) I am but so be it.. we’d all be pretty dull if we never changed or grew.

30 years and 30 things I’ve learned. Here goes nothing.

1. it is not my job to fix other people
2. my biggest fear
3. who my true friends are
4. when to say no
5. how to make bomb chocolate chip cookies
6. apologizing when you’ve screwed up doesn’t make you weak
7. drama is unhealthy
8. it’s okay to distance myself from negative people, even if they’re family or close friends
9. aging naturally is okay
10. how to listen to my body
11. how to use a snow blower
12. to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body
13. what drink to order at a restaurant
14. I have little patience for people who victimize themselves
15. failure is normal
16. how to fight fair with loved ones
17. how to enjoy being alone
18. it’s okay to not fit in
19. everything happens for a reason
20. most people are genuinely good
21. how to do a muscle up
22. not to settle
23. how to be mentally strong and comfortable being uncomfortable
24. how to pick my battles
25. to always wear sunscreen
26. how to public speak
27. being in jeans and a t-shirt makes me feel the prettiest
28. how to function under stress
29. how to be happy for other people
30. life is not fair