A letter to Jackson on his 1st birthday

Dear Jackson,

365 days. 1 year. As I sit here and write to you, I’m in awe how an entire year has already passed. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me to soak it all up because time passes in the blink of an eye, and they were right. Time does pass quickly but with it we’ve created a whole year of beautiful memories together.

Since I was a little girl, not much bigger than yourself, I dreamed about being your Mom. And then there was a time I prayed harder than I’ve ever prayed in my life for you to actually come to be, because I wasn’t sure we’d ever be able to have children. And one day (a few months earlier than we would have liked), you entered this world and made all our dreams come true. Our miracle baby. Our rainbow baby. My perfect, sweet little boy.

I’ve spent so much time contemplating how best to raise you and teach you about the world. And now, as I sit here and reflect on the past year, I realize that all along you’ve been the one teaching me. How to live in the moment and appreciate the small things in life (that, turns out, are actually the biggest things). That each day, every moment is a blessing. About patience. That it’s okay if life, and our house, and my clothes, and you are messy. And, most importantly, you taught me how to truly love unconditionally, with no boundaries or expectations.

You surely didn’t have an easy start but handled all the curveballs you were dealt with grace. I watched broken-hearted and helpless as your tiny body went through so much… more in your first 75 days of life than many people do in their lifetime… yet you never gave up. That strength, that resilience, and that determination that are rooted deep inside you inspire me daily.

Jackson, I don’t think I have met a happier baby in my life. I swell with pride whenever someone asks, “is he always like this?” because 99% of the time, you are. Your opened mouth, 2 (almost 3) toothed grin that is your signature look brightens everyone’s day. And those big blue eyes melt my heart over and over again. I could listen to you babble forever and your giggle is, and always will be, my favorite sound.

Motherhood has been the most challenging journey I’ve ever embarked on, but it’s also been my favorite. Thank you for being patient with me as I’ve figured things out and as we’ve learned what works best through trial and error. You have made my days so much better and given my life a whole new meaning. I thank God every day for trusting me to be your Mom and for keeping you healthy, happy and safe.

May you never lose that spark in your eye, that smile on your face, or that love for life that comes so effortlessly.

I love you more than the sun, the moon and the stars. Happy first birthday my sweet boy.

Love, Mama

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